


I've been meaning to tell you, I've got this feeling that won't subside

by JuliaBaggins



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, M/M, post last jedi, thinking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 06:51:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13025571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaBaggins/pseuds/JuliaBaggins
Summary: Takes place right after The Last Jedi, so there are Spoilers!!Poe and Finn are thinking about what happened to them, and suddenly, Finn realizes something really important...





	I've been meaning to tell you, I've got this feeling that won't subside

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo I just saw Last Jedi today, loved it, and of course my shipper's heart immediately demanded that I write this xD

“I’m Rey”, the young woman introduced herself.

“I know”, Poe answered, and he smiled at her. 

Rey smiled back at him, and after a nod, she walked away, towards Leia. Poe started looking around, taking in the faces of everyone who had made it to the Millenium Falcon. There were people he had been fighting side by side with for years, close friends. A woman he loved like a mother. The girl who had saved them earlier, whom he had only just met but already heard so very much about. And then there was Finn. Finn, who was sitting by Rose’s side, his worried eyes fixed on her sleeping face. After a second of hesitation, Poe walked to his side.

 

“Hey, buddy.”

“Hey”, Finn turned towards him, and Poe noticed how very tired his friend looked.

“How is she doing?”, he asked with a glance towards Rose.

“They say that she’ll be alright”, Finn explained, and then, in a voice as if he couldn’t quite believe what he said, “She saved my life.”

Poe swallowed. He remembered it, the very second when he had realized that Finn was not going to turn around. That he would continue flying straight forward, not minding the consequences. Just accepting his fate, his death, if it was for the greater good. And the worst thing had been, that while Poe had been screaming over the com that Finn should turn around, had tried to order him to stop, he _knew_ that if their places had been reversed, he wouldn’t have stopped. Poe would have continued this suicide mission, if there was just the tiniest spark of hope for helping the people he loved to make it out alive. 

And so he had _understood_ it, what Finn had been doing. And why. Only that it didn’t change anything about the ice that pierced into his heart like knifes, the tears that threatened to escape his eyes. The feeling of utter regret, about never telling Finn how very much he was loved. And the wish that he could do something to change it, that their places were reversed, just _anything_ to safe Finn’s life.

 

“I’m glad that she did”, Poe whispered, unable to stop himself, and then, as an afterthought, “And I’m very glad that she’s going to be alright. She’s a brave one.”

Finn smiled down at Rose, and Poe tried not to think about that smile.

“She is. And she’s got no one in this world.”

“No”, Poe disagreed, “She’s got _us_. We’re a family, all of us.”

Poe waved his hands, to include all the people around them, and Finn’s eyes followed them. Until they landed back on Poe.

“We are”, and there was another smile on Finn’s lips, one that caused Poe’s stomach to do a little flip.

“And you-“, Finn continued, or rather he started to. Shortly after, he got interrupted by Leia, who was shouting Poe’s name. With a quick apology, he turned away, and Finn stayed back.

 

Finn sat down at the side of Rose’s bed, taking in her sleeping face. A family, Poe had called them, and yes, Finn liked the sound of that. During their joint adventure, he had grown very fond of Rose, and he had been oh so glad to hear that she would be alright. And he also was thankful that she had saved his life – he hadn’t _wanted_ to die, it was rather that he had seen only that opportunity at the time to save his friends, his _family_. But now, as they had made it out alive anyways, Finn was very happy with the fact that he was alive. And he couldn’t wait to thank Rose for saving him. Though there was this thing.. this kiss. 

Before loosing consciousness, Rose had pressed her lips to Finn’s, and so far, he hadn’t had much time to think about this. But now he did, and Finn was oh so confused. He was not entirely sure why she had done this, but what he knew was how not only shock had been the reason why he didn’t kiss her back. No, much more important had been and still was the fact that he didn’t feel about her in that way. It was more like it had been with Rey when they had just met, this feeling of connectedness, a friendship blooming. And Finn loved Rey, he really did, but with her, it was the same. Holding Rey in his arms, hugging her close, this had felt right, but _kissing?_ No, Finn did not feel like kissing Rose, and he also didn’t have the desire to kiss Rey. 

 

“Finn?”, Poe’s voice called him out of his thoughts, and Finn looked up. 

And suddenly, it made sense. 

“You okay there, buddy?”, the pilot asked, but Finn didn’t find it in himself to answer.

Poe’s dark eyes were too captivating, and in Finn’s mind, a variety of thoughts and memories started to chase each other. He thought of how they had met, how Poe had been there when he had woken up, cradling a hurt Poe in his arms, getting his name, the jacket, so many glances and smiles. Finn remembered how Leia had slapped Poe, and how very much he agreed with her in that moment, with her anger about him putting himself in danger so recklessly. There was another memory, of Poe giving Finn the jacket back, explaining that he had tried to stich it back together while not quite meeting his eyes, and wow, suddenly Finn had no idea how he hadn’t understood it back then. The warm feeling that had bloomed in his stomach at Poe’s words. How it explained it all so perfectly.

“I get it now. You. It’s you”, Finn said, and mentally shook himself. No, this hadn’t come out quite like he imagined it to do.

“What?” Poe asked, worry and confusion tingled in his voice while he tried for a smile. He did not allow himself to read anything into these words, into whatever his friend’s tired mind had wanted to say with that. Because it surely wasn’t what Poe would have wished it to mean, it couldn’t be. And there was no point in wishing for things that couldn’t be. (Only that Poe’s heart hadn’t gotten this message yet.)

 

“Poe”, Finn started, and stopped again. Because what more was there to say? Poe’s name felt like everything he ever wanted to say again, and if it hadn’t been for the confusion that got even more intense in these dark eyes, Finn wouldn’t have said anything else. But now, he felt as if he owed Poe an explanation, to let him know this magnificent thing that he had just realized.

“Finn, I’m starting to get really worried here.”

“No, don’t be. I’m good. More than good actually. Very good. And I think I might be in love.”

So, he had said it. Finn took a deep breath, and after a second, he realized that something was wrong. Because Poe’s face seemed to have fallen somehow, the usual spark from his eyes was missing, and the smile he directed at Finn was so fake that it hurt.

“Wow, yes, well, I’m happy for you, buddy”, Poe said, his voice as strange as his reaction, and he awkwardly patted Finn on the shoulder.

“Poe..”, Finn started, and once again, he got interrupted. Only that this time, it was by Poe himself.

“She’s a very lucky girl”, Poe whispered, and it must be a trick of the low lighting, the wet shimmer to his eyes.

 

Finn sighed; this really wasn’t going the way he wanted. And he had no real idea how to do this, as he had never been in a situation alike, but he just _knew_ that this was his moment. He needed to say it now, he was aware that Poe needed to hear it. So Finn just took a deep breath and looked deep into Poe’s eyes, maybe getting a little bit lost in there.

“Poe. There isn’t a girl. Well, at least not like this. When I say that I think that I might be in love, or rather that I’m sure about how I’ve hopelessly fallen for someone, it’s because of you. You, Poe Dameron. You’re.. you’re the only one that I want to kiss.”

Poe’s eyes had gotten wider and wider during Finn’s speech, and now, he just looked at him in utter disbelief. Finn tried for a smile, hoping that it wouldn’t betray just how very nervous he was, and when finally, _finally_ the smile got mirrored on Poe’s lips, Finn extended his hand. Carefully, he rested it on Poe’s cheek, causing his eyes to flicker closed for a short moment. When he opened them again, while biting his lip at the same time, Poe looked at Finn as if he was the only other person in the world, the only one that mattered. And maybe in that moment, he was.

 

“You could, you know”, Poe said, noticing the roughness in his own voice.

For once, it was Finn’s turn to look confused. Confused, and also very happy, with how Poe was leaning into the touch to his cheek.

“You could kiss me, if you’d like”, Poe explained, and if it had not been for his words, the blush that accompanied them would have been what did it for Finn.

Finn leaned forward, at the same time as Poe did, and as soon as their lips met, Finn knew that this was how kissing was supposed to feel. And how love did feel. 

Their first kiss was short, and sweet, and when they parted, leaning their foreheads against each others, both of them were smiling. And they weren’t the only ones – a few meters away, Rey and Leia were watching them, and both of them were oh so happy for their boys. This was just what they all needed in times as dark as these: a little hope, and a little love.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Nice comments would make my day ❤
> 
> Title from "Hungry Eyes"


End file.
